175510

Joke of the Day

"TIL I'm bad at posting at the right subreddit"

"""Coming up on tonight's news, hear about the tragic case of 10 people who lost their lives trying to escape a fire at the nightclub everyone's been dying to get into."" *Disclaimer: No pun in ten dead."

"The Buddhist Mafia is called Karma."

"For english press ONE. Para espanol el primo numero DOS. If you like totes can't even right now, obvs press THREE."

"Nothing says ""I m not interested"" quite as loudly as showing up for a date"

"What's the difference between you and a calendar? A calendar has a date for Valentine's Day."

"3YO: Why do I have to share a room with my twin sister? ME: Because we only anticipated having one of you."

"Where assholes go to die The cheap toilet paper section."

"I just don't get life insurance. Why would I want to give my family a financial incentive to kill me?"

"Why did the blind man use chopsticks? Because he couldn't see the point in forks."