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Joke of the Day
"Vodka giveth and vodka taketh away... It giveth me a hangover and taketh away my underpants. Amen."
Next Joke
"Stop trying to make small talk with me in an elevator. It's 2013, .... Stare at your phone like a normal person."
"I used to go to communism classes. I never really got good Marx."
"ME: Take care of my cat while I'm away? HITMAN: [screwing on silencer] No problem."
"My girlfriend wanted me to include her more.. My girlfriend cuddled up to me and said ""I wish you would play with me like to do those video games"". So, I Dragon-punched her in the face."
"Velcro What a rip-off!"
"What's the difference between a women's track team and a tribe of pygmies? He tribe of pygmies is a cunning bunch of runts."
"Why do golfers always bring an extra pair of trousers In case they get a hole in one"
"Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here"
"my plan for the day is to lay on the floor and not move"