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Joke of the Day
"ME: Take care of my cat while I'm away? HITMAN: [screwing on silencer] No problem."
Next Joke
"When men and women argue who's the most stubborn... Then men concede they are are, because they just don't want to argue this anymore."
"Recall how as children we were told not to make ugly faces because we'd ""stick that way?"" Careful. It works for dumbing ourselves down, too."
"People always ask why i wear a hoodie in the middle of June. I tell them ""Winter is coming."""
"""How was the beach? You hang ten or what?"" No but I stabbed a couple because they kept asking stupid questions about my vacation"
"You ever drive around with an old person who knows where everything didn't used to be?"
"The CEO of AT&T just got married... The service was okay, but the reception was terrible."
"What do you call it when Darth Vader moves one foot? The Imperial March"
"I keep getting claustrophobic in elevators. I've been taking steps to avoid it."
"Why can't Californians stop at stop signs? I don't know and this is not a laughing matter."