20830

Joke of the Day

"my plan for the day is to lay on the floor and not move"

"Before you bludgeon to death that drifter who broke into your apartment and passed out on your futon, ask yourself: when did I buy a futon?"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C."

"Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons? *reason #42 why I can't fall asleep"

"I just threw a snowball at a Smart car and its airbags deployed"

"The fish's guitar sounded terrible. He must've forgotten his tuna."

"What department store is named after the things jews hate the most and love the most? JC Penney. ^I'm ^^going ^^^to ^^^^hell."

"What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict? One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines."

"Q: Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor? A: Because she was in the non-friction section."

"my doctor asked if it burns when I pee. I said only when it gets in my eyes."