140117

Joke of the Day

"There's only one thing I hate more that white supremacy. Black people"

"Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? A: 'cuz they ain't got balls to scratch!"

"Honesty is the best policy, but I also recommend a lot of life insurance."

"ok boss, i duck taped the hostage's mouth shut ""you mean duct taped, right?"" um... *cuts to hostage with live mallard stuffed in his mouth*"

"After seeing the Kim Kardashian cover of Paper Magazine, Sir Mix-a-lot, reportedly tipped his hat, muttered that his work here was done and rocketed into space to return to his home planet Uranus..."

"A cannibal is waking in the jungle & passes his friend."

"My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe."

"3 guys walk into a bar... The 4th guy ducked."

"What's long, hard, and has cum in it? ... a cuCUMber."

"I used to be addicted to the Hokey-Pokey but I've turned myself around"