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Joke of the Day

"An insect just came into my living room and exploded. It was a Jihadi long legs"

"What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Isaac Newton died a virgin."

"What do you call a promiscuous woman who travels a lot? Abroad."

"How come you never write e-mails? I'd rather send a note!"

"Did you hear about the Egyptian boatman who refused to believe his craft was sinking? He was in denial"

"The body burns a lot of calories digesting food. That's why I eat instead of exercising."

"[Confession] ""I killed a man"" ""Wait what"" ""Lol had to get that off my chest, now why did you come in today, my son?"""

"Whats red, white, and hangs from a telephone pole? A dead baby shot out of a snowblower."

"Me: Siri, how do I look? Siri: Well, at least you tried"

"I was working at the orange juice factory But I got canned couldn't concentrate"