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Joke of the Day

"the real people to blame for 911 I heard it was two irish carpenter s paddy and mick fitting doors on the 60th floor paddy told mick to get a plain n take some of the top. Mick misinterpreted"

"Well, that didn't work. Anybody need 1000 custom candy hearts saying ""Threesome?"""

"How did the stoner die? Blunt force trauma."

"I made a shirt out of pushpins... ...because I wanted to look sharp. But everyone said it was just tacky."

"TIL: Norwegian women are so hot, because vikings only took the most beautiful women as prisoners. Gotcha ?"

"Why did the creepy hipster get arrested? because he was following people before instagram"

"Ever heard of the undertaker who accidentally dug another body? He made a grave mistake."

"Whats the difference between puberty and prostitution? One is caused by hormones and one causes whore moans"

"I'm wearing my big rolled up socks again today and I'm doing so with pride. So all you haters can get in a taxi and chip off."

"So today I was setting up a password for an account with my wife, and I put, ""Mypenis,"" as the password, and my wife fell on the ground laughing because on the screen said, ""Error. Not long enough."""