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Joke of the Day

"lady at table behind me: sometimes babies get gassy. they can't burp so they get mad and cry me, turning around angrily: its not JUST babies"

"What's the difference between your mother and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking when I slap it"

"I heard Hotel California for the 6th time on the radio during my cross country road trip. You can change the station any time you like, but the song never leaves"

"What do you call a Mexican who can't find his car? Carlos"

"[Date] (don't let her know you're an alien larva) Her: I wonder where he is? *I burst through her chest* Me: Did you order yet? I'm starved"

"A bigot redneck and a psychopathic grandma get into an arguement Someone filmed it and decided to call it politics"

"Two Irishmen walk out of a pub."

"How many jews can u fit in a Volkswagen? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and about 6 million in the ashtray. .."

"Doctors have confirmed that masturbation is life threatening Many men have died after having a stroke"

"Why did the imgurian cross the road? To get the meme on the other side"