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Joke of the Day

"That moment. You're driving, music blaring singing at the top of your lungs. You're a rockstar till the music cuts out & you hear your voice"

"What did the fish say to the man draining its aquarium? WATER YOU DOING"

"Michael J Fox got a new restaurant endorsement deal... Shakey's"

"*weighs self* ""Shit"" *takes clothes off* ""GODDAMMIT"" *takes tampon out*"

"what's the difference between the government and the mafia? The Mafia is organized"

"I've kidnapped 100 kids and killed 10 of them Only 90 kids can remember"

"Are you the fourth derivative of a position function? Cause you're a jerk!"

"Why was the virgins' wedding during the middle of the week? Because Wednesday is hump day."

"90% of being a dad is yelling about doors being left open while the air conditioning is running."

"During lunch, what did one Soldier say to the other Soldier? Want some Turkey?"