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Joke of the Day

"Over the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything. I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete idiots."

"What's the difference between men and women when it comes to drinking? My boys drive me to drink, but women drive me to drink."

"News: Ireland has now legalized ecstasy, meth, and mushrooms due to an unexpected legal loophole. In other news: I have a plane to catch."

"What do Mexican and Black people have in common? Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal."

"Johnny was a chemists son.... Johnny was a chemist's son, But Johnny is no more, What Johnny thought was H2O, Was H2SO4."

"Just a reminder not to wear white after Labor Day and not to be black around cops."

"People seem very hopeful about the news of water in Mars. But I take it with a grain of salt."

"Two guys walk into a bar You think the second one would be smart enough to duck"

"*Opening presents 1986: Please be a crossbow! Please be a crossbow! 2016: Please be a crossbow! Please be a crossbow!"

"How do you tell the difference between a normal potato from a slutty potato? The slutty one has the sticker that reads Idaho."