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Joke of the Day

"Over the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything. I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete idiots."

"How many governments does it take to make an Egyptian happy? I'll let you know when I find out..."

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60, she's 97 today... and we don't know where the fuck she is."

"What's the difference between a tiger and a lion ? A tiger has the mane part missing !"

"I don't understand all the excitement over Usain Bolt I finish in under ten seconds all the time."

"Request: Give me your best wedding joke! (jokes with puns are absolutely acceptable)"

"Girlfriend: ""babe it's hot I need a fan"" [Boyfriend starts taking pictures with her and BEGGING for autographs]"

"How can you tell a man from a woman Well, there's not really a vas deferens"

"From now on when people forcefully show me pictures of their baby, I'm simply going to reply, ""Hmm... I've seen better."""

"Dear Diary: Day 1 of being a gang member. Wore a bandana today, but took it off after a woman shouted ""you go girl!"" from across the street."