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Joke of the Day

"I like black people the same way I like racist jokes: I don't like racist jokes."

"The Democratic National Committee. That's it. That's the entire fucking joke."

"When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. (oldie but goodie)"

"Seriously. Who gets ""regular strength"" ANYTHING?! ""Yeah, go ahead & gimme your middle-of-the-road shit. I'd like this headache to LINGER."""

"thinking about eating a lot of candy. which i have obtained legaly, through the trick or treat system, for many years"

"In order to save space, Ricky Gervais & Seth McFarlane are both one guy now. Frankly, it's been a long time coming"

"Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a copy of your naughty list. Love, -Tim"

"It was hard work, but I finally fixed the laundry machine The wife beater is nice and clean again :)"

"Bill Cosby and Charlie Sheen walk into a bar... tender girl who later reports them to the police for sexual harrasment."

"What do you call it when someone eats too much wheat? Glutteny."