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Joke of the Day

"I've started calling my girlfriend names like Custard, Ice cream, Pudding, Chocolate cake, or Apple pie. I'm planning to desert her."

"I sleep better naked. Why is this flight attendant unable to understand that?"

"Two bloke sitting in a pub watching a dog lick its balls. One turns to the other and says ""I wish I could do that."" The second drunk replies ""Give him a biscuit and he might let you."""

"How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don't show it to her."

"I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters... Its shift work."

"How does a Welshman find sheep in long grass? Irresistible"

"What kind of bees make milk? Boobees."

"I think I want a job cleaning mirrors... ...it's just something I can see myself doing."

"How is Star Trek like toilet paper? It circles Uranus looking for Klingons."

"Is there a difference between men and women? Yes, there is a vas deferens!"