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Joke of the Day

"If you cut off my head I'll continue eating for two more days."

"Dark: Whats one thing you can do in a vast quantity without bothering with the quality? Genocide"

"*a man runs into the bar* ""HELP HELP, IS ANYONE HERE COUSINS WITH BON JOVI?"" *my date looks at me, I do nothing, my lies are now exposed*"

"What's better than a rose on a piano? Tulips on an organ. Edit: accidentally a letter."

"At the end of each day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?'"

"[As a tornado destroys their home] Wife: You're the best thing that ever happened to me. Husband: I really miss Baywatch."

"I'm surprised God doesn't make Christian Rock Bands sound better."

"[god creatig god] GOD: make him omnipotent & onmipresent ANGEL: ok... GOD: and also provide no evidence he exists ANGEL: ru sure GOD: trust me"

"I tripped over the dog a second ago and am hurting a little.Web md has it narrowed down to a sprained uterus or a dislocated cervix. So.."

"It's Cyber Monday, sooo.... what are you wearing?"