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Joke of the Day
"Why was the archeologist sad? His career was in ruins."
Next Joke
"Let's give a big round of applause to everyone on Facebook who went to the gym today even though they ""hate it""!! They are the real heroes."
"Well well well. If it isn't old Saint Nick trying to slide down this chimney after ignoring my texts for a year."
"What goes eek eek bang? A mouse in a minefield !"
"I stopped trying to be a thug when I found out there was something called a caramel Frappuccino."
"Pal: my advice for your date is, make her think you're well travelled, girls love it! Later Me: Guess how many buses it took me to get here"
"My phone wanted to auto correct, ""mos def"" to ""most definitely."" I swear, my phone has absolutely zero swag."
"DR DOG: We need to talk about your weight. PATIENT: I'm not fat. I'm just big boned. DR DOG: *drooling everywhere* Just how big exactly?"
"How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't get up that high!"
"What do you call a deer with a missing eye? I have no fucking eye deer."