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Joke of the Day

"Him: I like powerful women. Me: Gotcha. *dresses up as a rhino*"

"Women hate to be stereotyped. .. They're all like that."

"What university department did the Fonz go do when he needed help paying his tuition? Financial Ayyyyyyd I'll^see^myself^out"

"So how long do I have to microwave this spider before I let it bite me?"

"Why is divorce so expensive? BECAUSE IT'S WORTH IT!!!"

"I read my kids a few select Facebook statuses before bed, kiss them on their heads, and whisper, ""This is why we have to stay in school"""

"Why does the Fonz dress up as an insect when going on a journey? Because he wants to get from ayy to bee."

"Passed a vampire, a zombie, and a prostitute on the way to work tonight. Not sure which ones were in costume..."

"Why did Ted Bundy dropout of an Italian cooking class? There were not enough Italians to eat."

"There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, ""It sure is hot in here"". The other muffin says, ""Yeah like 350, 375""."