147306

Joke of the Day

"I bought a winter jacket at Urban Outfitters last August I got a really good deal because I bought it before it was cool."

"Some people say I dream too much, I say it's just because my life is better than their dreams are."

"Ladies, they're called ""Skinny Jeans."" Not ""Makes You Skinny Jeans."""

"Today and Tomorrow are in bed... Today is smoking a cigarette and looks over at Tomorrow who is sulking and says, ""I'm sorry you never come."""

"If a shark attacks you, DO NOT punch him in the nose. Be the bigger person and just ignore him."

"Reception Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."

"a contractor is just a regular tractor that rips people off"

"How do you stop a Mexican tank? You shoot the people pushing it."

"A ninja turdle is when you poop really fast."

"All women really want is to be treated like you treat your iPhone."