139498

Joke of the Day

"Why are there never any GOOD side effects? Just once I'd like to read a prescription bottle that says, ""May cause extreme sexiness."""

"A buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor... ...and says ""Make me one with everything."""

"What do you call a bunch of happy Seahawks fans after the Super Bowl? Haitians"

"What do you call an African American astronaut? An astronaut you racist Jerk."

"Did you hear about the 2 guys that stole a calendar? They both got 6 months."

"Why don't they make bouncy houses for adults? You'd spill your drink."

"There are two types of people I hate in this world... People intolerant of other people's culture.... and the Dutch. Credit to Nigel Powers"

"Pulled this one on my son today. Son: Dad, today is palm Sunday. Me (Dad): Gimme some palm. *receives high five* Son: *not entertained*"

"Why are there no Televisions in Afganistan? Because of the taliban"

"[the cops release the cadaver sniffing dogs into my living room for the third time this week] ME: *pauses netflix* I told you I'm not dead!"