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Joke of the Day

"Why are there never any GOOD side effects? Just once I'd like to read a prescription bottle that says, ""May cause extreme sexiness."""

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a whore?` None. They both fuck people for a living."

"How many narcissists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One narcissist. The narcissist holds the lightbulb in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him."

"me: [comes running down the stairs with a baseball glove] robber: why are u wearing a glove me: I meant to grab my bat lol robber: lol"

"Why was the scarecrow promoted? He was outstanding in his field."

"Saw a girl with 12 nipples today. Sounds crazy, dozen tit?"

"How to kill your wife without consequences. Hah. Made you look."

"Every squirrel is a flying squirrel if you've got a good throwing arm."

"My favorite oxymorons: 1. Jumbo shrimp. 2. Act natural. 3. Boneless ribs. 4. Civil war. 5. Freezer burn. 6. Adult male. 7. Happy marriage."

"Serbian Math What's the difference between the inverse of sec(o) and the smallest region in the former Ottoman Empire? One is cos(o), the other is Kosovo"