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Joke of the Day

"Ate reduced fat cheese on low calorie bread and my taste buds had me indicted for hate crimes."

"I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said ""You're pulling my leg"""

"Why do politicians take laxatives? So they can speak more fluently"

"I like to show my girlfriend who's boss in our house by holding a mirror up to her face."

"Ask a man if he's critiquing your work... Men Who Are Dating say: No, & compliment you. Single Men say: Yes Married Men: Try to hide"

"Sorry I lied about knowing how to play the piano. What's that? Yes, I agree it made the funeral uncomfortable."

"I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent. Might not kill him but he'll never have any friends."

"Insulting Bakers is Good Fun You can really get a rise out of them."

"My enemies are gonna be so sorry if I ever get out of this bean bag chair."

"My wife just opened a bottle of wine so my chances of getting laid just went from 0 to 750ml."