139364

Joke of the Day

"Stephen Hawking is going to hell... ... because there's only a stairway to heaven."

"It's quiet...too quiet... Did you hear about the woman who couldn't find a singing partner? She had to buy a duet yourself kit... *-drops mic-* *-mike jumps up and promptly kicks hatter in the shin-*"

"He said the spark between us was gone, so I tasered him. I'll ask him again when he wakes up."

"Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a six offender."

"My wife just said that Twilight is better than The Lost Boys. I don't think there's a jury in the world that would convict me."

"Why do we call them the Smoky Mountains? Because the moonshiners got there before the cartographers!"

"What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money? Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)"

"What would a pig name a chain of food stores? ""Stop ""N Slop Markets"""

"Why do SCUBA divers fall backwards out of the boat? Because if they fell forward they would land in the boat!"

"I was driving down a street with a magician He turned into a driveway"