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Joke of the Day
"He said the spark between us was gone, so I tasered him. I'll ask him again when he wakes up."
Next Joke
 
"TIL an African grey parrot, who lives an incredibly long life, can learn up to the vocabulary of an 8 year old. So when do you have the sex talk?"
"5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe."
"Why are Jedi terrible at Rugby? Because ""There is no Try."""
"Autocorrect wants to capitalize bacon, out of respect."
"I was going to make a chemistry joke... but I didn't know if it would get a positive reaction."
"Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he kneaded a poo."
"If a guy spread rose petals all over my apartment, I would literally look at him and just be like: ""I'm not picking this up."""
"I'm not allowed to watch Hoarders anymore because people say ""let it go"" too often and then I can't stop singing it, an autobiography."
"My girlfriend and I are thinking about adopting a dog because we've had no luck trying to have one naturally."