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Joke of the Day
"""Say no to Lindsay Lohan."" - drugs."
Next Joke
"Why don't Mexican's cross the border in three's? Because it says no *tres*passing"
"I think I will take my next drivers license picture drunk so I can say pshaw! I always look like that."
"Global warming is partially bullshit. About 18% http://www.fao.org/ag/magazine/0612sp1.htm"
"you know when a kid calls their stepmom by their first name? we should weaponize that"
"How do you get a baby to stop choking? Take your dick out of its mouth."
"I hate tacos Said no Juan ever"
"Wife: for the last time buy a terrarium Me: [drops 7 lizards into my shirt] why they already have a home"
"What job did the farmer give to his learning-disabled child? Herder"
"Speaking of corny jokes: how do you win a race against vegetables? You have to get ahead of lettuce! Ahahahahaha!"