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Joke of the Day

"I thought my name was ""Stop encouraging her"" until I was 11."

Next Joke
 
"How should a doctor treat a patient with Mesothelioma? Asbestos he can."
"What kind of bees make milk? Boobees."
"You can kiss a nun once, you can kiss a nun twice.... ...but don't get into the habit"
"What kind of music do sponges listen to? Raggaeneration."
"Me: Nice flowers. Co-worker: They're from my boyfriend. Now I'm going to spend all weekend w/my legs in the air. Me: Don't you have a vase?"
"I bought the mask Jigsaw wears in the movie 'SAW' just so that if a robber ever breaks into my house he'll know he made a fucking mistake."
"Every year I end up have so much Thanksgiving leftovers.. Not this year though. I'm quitting cold turkey"
"I want to grow my own food but I can't seem to find any bacon seeds anywhere."
"One time Bill Murray came up to me at a Wendys, took a fry off my tray, ate it, looked me dead in the eyes and said ""Nobody's going to believe you"""