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Joke of the Day

"I want to grow my own food but I can't seem to find any bacon seeds anywhere."

"How many black people does it take to screw in a Lightbulb? 26. One to actually do the screwing, and 25 to mindlessly shout YAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS."

"Did you hear about the new Comedy Central show? a polar bear offers his commentary about current events. Its called the Cold Bear Report!"

"I farted in front of a Jewish friend He got offended but i said "" c'mon a little gas never killed anybody"""

"If horses could talk I reckon they'd mostly just say 'Get off me'."

"As a member of Destiny's Child, Kelly Rowlands was one of the most famous and beautiful women in the world.. ..'s friend. From Frankie Boyle."

"ME: Wow I have to print this document right now PRINTER: Like, right right now?"

"Meditation is fun when you want to do nothing for an hour but still feel a sense of accomplishment."

"I'm well versed in Mexico's version of Judo. Judo know if I got a knife... Judo know if I got a gun..."

"I've only heard the setup for this joke, anybody know the rest? A Jew and a Pollock are in a rainstorm... That's all I know and I've been dying to find out the rest. Anybody have any ideas?"