13906

Joke of the Day

"More money is spent on boob jobs and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research! By 2040 the elderly will have perky tits, stiff cocks and no fucking idea why!"

"What's the difference between a prostitute and a member of ISIS? One sucks and makes you explode, the other explodes and it sucks"

"It's important even when you're really busy to stop and make time to notice how bad everything is."

"""I don't have to outrun the bear! Just you!"" Wrong. Bears are so sick of that joke, they skip the slow guy and eat the fast guy now."

"As Sitting Bull said to the mermaid . . . ""How?"""

"This guy was all like ""I think you've had enough beers for one night."" Then I'm all ""Fuck you, fridge. Appliances can't even talk."""

"A blind judge conducted a trial.. And even after no one managed to provide a substantial incriminating evidence he still condemned the defendant. he couldn't see the truth."

"What makes a great pizza joke? It's all in the delivery."

"Why does Michael J Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he only uses the finest ingredients."

"Last month I lost my camouflage hat... I'm not sure how I should feel about this"