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Joke of the Day

"What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night? A new last name."

"I had the worst day EVER!!! I found a hair in my booger and it totally ruined my booger :("

"I like to tell the bad joke about condescending so I can overexplain it in simple terms."

"My niece just yelled ""MY DINNER IS BETTER THAN YOUR DINNER"" so I looked over and she was eating doritos with a fork"

"What did the cannibalistic lion do? Swallow his pride."

"Oldie but a goodie Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper? He sold his soul to Santa."

"Thirty seven years ago, my wife walked out on me because apparently, I hold on to grudges too long. What a bitch."

"If she ever says: What did you just say!? I recommend an immediate heart attack and let the paramedics carry you out of the room."

"If a cop tazed me and then yelled ""Raiden Wins!""... I would instantly lose all animosity towards him."

"I thought I could take my dog with me to the gym today, but it didn't work out."