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Joke of the Day

"If she ever says: What did you just say!? I recommend an immediate heart attack and let the paramedics carry you out of the room."

"Midwife: It's a boy, ma'am. Mrs Dickens: Edward. Edward's a nice name, isn't it, dear? Dickens: LET'S CALL HIM OPPROBRIOUS FRILLYBOCKER"

"Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen."

"Genie: I'll give you more wishes, I feel bad for you Me: [with 3 ice cream cones on the ground] That's very nice of you"

"I was gonna tell a pedophile joke but I always come in a little behind."

"My wife got really angry when I spent a lot of money on a make-your-own perfume kit ...but it made scents to me"

"Holocaust jokes aren't as funny when you have a relative that died in a concentration camp. To be fair though, if the fall from the gun tower hadn't killed Opa, the alcohol would have."

"if you have penciled-on eyebrows I can't hear a word you're saying because I'm staring at them"

"How to get fucked up in bakery? Get creampied."

"Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proofreading."