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Joke of the Day

"Why did the banjo player get into heaven? The devil has standards."

"People always talk about starting families... But no one ever talks about finishing what they started."

"My 10 y/o daughter made this joke up on the way to school... What do you get when you cross Hitler with a fish? A-dolphin!"

"""Honey the baby is crowning!"" *Lifts up hospital gown* ""Well excuse me YOUR MAJESTY!"""

"I was furious when I found my wife's profile on an on-line dating website. That lying bitch isn't, ""Fun to be around."""

"When I'm stressed, I go to the gym Cause then I could workout my problems"

"I once dated a girl with two noses. She wasn't much to look at but she smelled great."

"God took a paternity test He found out he was the father, the son and the holy spirit."

"I like my women how I like my whiskey. Six years old."

"*crawls out of your television and tries to kill you* I'm not like other girls."