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Joke of the Day

"Why did the banjo player get into heaven? The devil has standards."

"I bought my friend a new computer screen for Xmas. His New Year resolution is 1920 x 1080."

"Apparently, you still fail a roadside sobriety test if you just lay down and take a nap."

"If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I am handsome I would have exactly one dollar.! Thanks Mom.!"

"Where do hogs keep their money? In piggy banks."

"What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today? Scratching at the lid of his coffin."

"The best thing about the south is... They still hang their knickers in the front lawn."

"*Makes sure the new girl at work sees how much pineapple I eat at lunch* *winks*"

"At least people that have hit rock bottom are disciplining their pet rocks This joke brought to you by my ten year old son"

"What's the difference between a Dutch oven and a German one? The type of gas used."