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Joke of the Day

"I'll always be here for you.... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I'll be over there for you."

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor."

"Why do the French eat only one egg for breakfast? Because one is un oeuf"

"As soon as the inauguration is over, I'm getting a position on Trump's ethics committee. I'm not political, I just need some quite time alone."

"My Daddy taught me to lick it before I stick it- I say to the judges as I hang a spit covered spoon from my nose."

"I met a girl at a club last night and she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran 100m in 9.69 seconds."

"I once stayed up all night wondering where the sun went then it dawned on me."

"What do they call a meeting among the most brilliant people in Burger Land? A MEATing of the minds!"

"What do you call all that useless meat around the vagina? A woman"

"What did the mouth say to the nose? Nothing; mouths can't ta... oh, wait..."