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Joke of the Day

"Before college, I didn't know what I was doing with my life, but now I'm confident I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Mitt Romney is walking through heaven when he runs into Barrack Obama"

"My wife is: 1) Am amazing mom and a great friend 2) Still the most beautiful girl I've ever been with 3) Now following me on Twitter"

"What's black and white and red all over? A happy orca."

"I took a class on Narcissism. I'm pretty sure I blew everyone away."

"The doctor just told my girlfriend and I that the baby is coming early. Like father, like son."

"Why can't a t-Rex clap it's hands? Because it's extinct."

"Remember that time when you didn't call, & a giraffe round house kicked your neck, & you fell off a merry-go-round & died?nnSo sad. Really."

"Incest Fun for the whole family (probably a repost)"

"I sneezed while pissing and almost pissed everywhere I think I have PEE-T-S-D now :( That was scary"