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Joke of the Day

"Monica Lewinsky was recently offered a new position at a prestigious boarding school. Headmaster."

"I don't understand why my coworkers always complain when I microwave my favorite meal: curry salmon stuffed with burnt popcorn."

"I know Victoria's secret She's hungry."

"COP: We have reports of u blasting music. ME: Sorry I'll keep the Metallica down COP: We were told it was Britney Spears ""Lucky."" On repeat."

"Post this on your Facebook then count your programmer friends. My phone is broken, please send me message on my Facebook or my Gmail."

"Always remember these 2 words in your life which will open many doors to you. Push and pull."

"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Hand the bitch a shovel"

"""Z"" I'm so hungry i could eat a pony "" - Guy who knows a full horse would be too much"

"Why are black people so fast? Because all of the slow ones are in jail."

"How do vampires keep their breath smelling nice? They use extractor fangs."