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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand why my coworkers always complain when I microwave my favorite meal: curry salmon stuffed with burnt popcorn."

"I'm not saying I'm smarter than you because I use proper punctuation; I'm implying it with semicolons."

"How do you confuse Helen Keller? You tell her to read a basketball."

"Why can nobody understand sausages when they talk??? Because they speak in tongs. I'll show myself the door"

"Appalachian Dictionary Virgin: (noun) - A 12 year old girl that can run faster than her brother."

"I saw a woman with a lower back tattoo that said ""Classy"" and my brain leaked out of my ear."

"A man walks into a bar with a piece of green tarmac on his head... The landlord says to the rest of the customers: ""Don't talk to him! He's a **cycle path**!"" Ba Dum Tss!"

"When you go to the drugstore, why are the condoms not in with the other party supplies?"

"If an illegal immigrant got into a fight with a pedophile Would it be called Alien vs Predator? Edit:I honestly was unaware that this joke had been done before. Not a big robot chicken fan. My bad"

"My university lecturer makes all of his students buy his book at the beginning of the term. It's textbook economics."