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Joke of the Day

"Anyway, I heard some ""Norwegian black metal"" today. Let's just say there's a reason no one ever built cities on it..."

"Lying on a hospital bed, I pull you in close, and with my dying breath, I whisper, ""Name one of your Pokemon after me"""

"What's the difference between an introverted scientist and an extroverted scientist? An extroverted scientist will stare at YOUR feet."

"Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez. It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after."

"A humorous joke to say on January 1st, ""I haven't had sex since LAST year!"" When really it's only been 21 years, 3 months and 18 days."

"My girlfriend has a global map tattooed on her body She may have been a difficult person to deal with. But you always knew where you were with her."

"We haven't spent a dime for snake food since I discovered all the free pets on craigslist."

"DATE: *gets in car* ME: hi *starts driving* DATE: how's it going? ME: first, gas is sparked in the combustion chamber to push the pistons"

"Every now and then you meet someone you wish you could unhinge your jaw for. *waiting patiently*"

"There's an app for everything today except premature ejaculation but I hear that it's coming soon"