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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew a light bulb!"

"I don't use my hands when I change my tampon. I just sing a jaunty tune and the Disney birds come in and begrudgingly do it for me."

"You can't say happiness without saying penis. Coincidence ? I think NOT..."

"Why was the calf afraid? He was a cow-herd!"

"The good news is, I blocked the creepy guy. The bad news is, I'm tweeting this from inside his trunk."

"Why did the boy take a pencil and paper to bed? He was told to draw the curtains before going to sleep."

"Yesterday, Bill Clinton endorsed Newt Gingrich's immigration policy Today he's endorsing Herman Cain's domestic policy."

"How does an Alzheimer's patient celebrate New Years? Kissing strangers."

"If Trump replaces Obama as president, Orange will be the new Black."

"I walk into my dad's office and I'm like ""sup motherfucker"" and he's all ""I'm on a conference call"" and I'm like ""sorry, sup motherfuckers"""