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Joke of the Day

"""Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears."" Only Vincent responded."

"What do you call a guy that can't make a joke? A dead one."

"Women have more than one connection to lungs. If you put a finger inside the vagina it feels like suffocating to them."

"How do you tell the difference between a Sunni and a Shiite Muslim? The Sunni's are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them."

"I always felt sorry for homeless gay people They have no closet to come out of."

"Coworker: Do you party? Me: Well I do schedule two nights a month that I stay up past 11pm. So yeah."

"I saw a couple of adjectives and a pronoun nervously smoking outside court yesterday. Probably awaiting sentencing."

"Lost dog. Missing: Three-legged dog. Distinguishing feature: Falls over when it pisses."

"Kraft have just opened up a new factory in Jerusalem... They've called it 'Cheeses of Nazareth'."

"I dropped my ice cream cone on the ground and it landed pointy end up which made the Earth, at least for a moment, one giant topping."