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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard the best dad joke? He was the groom's father. Not part of the joke: Yes I made that up in the shower this morning."

"Malaysia Airlines passengers have recently been asked about their flight experience; 5% said they were satisfied. 10% said they were extremely satisfied and 85% said they were blown away."

"A Segway segway Oh hey, speaking of Segways...."

"What tastes good but doesn't smell good? A tongue. Hehe"

"Scientists discover first gay dinosaur... Its official scientific name is Megasaurass"

"I don't trust public opinion polls because they don't take into consideration the fact that the public is made up of mostly idiots."

"I couldn't decide whether or not to buy this new king sized mattress I'm going to sleep on it."

"Dating is just deciding if you like a person more than being lonely, then choosing wrong."

"Friend: ""I just blew a speaker in my car."" Me: ""Which kind?"" Friend: ""Motivational."""

"DON'T QUESTION YOUR DOCTOR A man went to see his doctor. ""You need to stop masturbating,"" the doctor told him. The man asked, ""Why?"" The doctor replied, ""Because I'm trying to examine you!"""