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Joke of the Day
"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. The question is how they got in there."
Next Joke
"How does a butcher introduce his wife? Meat patty!"
"Does a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?"
"People are obsessed with this storm but in ten years no one will talk about it anymore, which is why they named it after the movie Juno."
"A long one. /| | | | | | | \___"
"Two muffins are sitting in a oven... One muffin says to the other, ""Damn, it's hot in here"". The other muffin says, ""HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!!"""
"You can accurately measure a person's intelligence level by giving them a simple prostate exam. If they let you, they're an idiot."
"I'm throwing a party for people who can't ejaculate Let me know if you can come or not"
"I ran without my headphones today & was reminded that I feel better about my fitness when my soundtrack isn't my panicked gasping breathing."
"the logic of why the line in front of this bathroom is so long if pee, then queue"