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Joke of the Day

"I ran without my headphones today & was reminded that I feel better about my fitness when my soundtrack isn't my panicked gasping breathing."

"What's better than winning a gold medal at the Paralympics? Walking"

"TIL javelins were invented in a region of northern France.. Britanny Spears."

"What's the best way for a lady to read 50 Shades of Grey? To flick through it as fast as possible."

"YO MAMAS SO FAT WHEN SHE WEARS A RED DRESS ALL THE KIDS SCREAM LOOK ITS THE KOOLAID MAN y"

"The shortest route between point A and point B is under construction."

"I don't always tell Dad jokes, but when I do, he tells me to get my fucking life together and stop being a disappointment."

"I don't know why they have flavored condoms It's not like my asshole has taste buds. My brother told me this, sorry if it's a repost."

"What happened to the ghost who went to a party? He had a wail of a time."

"A bad metaphor is like a cucumber with a parachute."