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Joke of the Day

"I'm throwing a party for people who can't ejaculate Let me know if you can come or not"

"I'm at my most Ninja Turtle when I remove a manhole cover & jump into the sewers to avoid making eye contact with someone I know in public."

"It's been a horrible morning so far. My ex got run over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver :("

"A heartwarming conversation between a son and his father. Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out."

"Top 10 inappropriate songs to sing at a children's karaoke party; 10 - Sometimes When We Touch"

"What did Beyonce say when Jay-Z refused anal? If you liked it you should had put a ring muscle on it!"

"[Job interview] Interviewer: Do you have any questions? Me: Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off the bus? Interviewer: Holy shit"

"As I looked into her eyes I felt my knees go weak and my stomach turned to butterflies. That's when I realized I'd drugged the wrong glass"

"Why don't programmers go on panty raids? Because they get undie find errors."

"If someone is bothering you with unneccessary calls to your cell number, post their number on eBay with the ad ""iPhone 5S for $1 only"""