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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a midget in a Mental Asylum? I don't really know, but it sounds a little crazy"

"I got expelled from school on pajama day. It's not my fault I sleep naked."

"What is the similarity between a porn-actress and Jesus? They're both getting nailed."

"TIL Cleopatra lived closer to me than the pyramids. I live in Alexandria, so did she, and the pyramids are 200km away."

"Why does Star Wars have 100s of people using lasers to fight and literally NOBODY using them to etch cute wooden drink coasters"

"What do a marriage and superglue have in common? They both form a bond in seconds, last (ideally) forever, and are dissolved by alcohol."

"After my prostrate exam, the nurse asked me an interesting question. She asked ""Who was the guy in the lab coat?"""

"Why did the Irishman eat only two hundred and thirty-nine beans? Because eating one more would have been two-farty."

"Police Officer: Why are you driving in a bathing suit? Motorist: I'm in a car pool."

"Who is Bob Dylan's favourite soccer player? Harry Kane."