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Joke of the Day

"I started working for a company that made hinges It really opened a lot of doors for me"

"An Irish elocution lesson Say the following words together quickly: Whale. Oil. Beef. Hooked."

"I finally got around to watching Dr Strange It was about time"

"My phone is crap. I put it into airplane mode and threw it up in the air. Worst transformer ever."

"What do you say when it's snowing? Winter is coming."

"Knock Knock... Who's there? Sean Bean. Sean Bean who? Oh that's right, you started watching after his character died. Works for pretty much anything Sean Bean is in except Sharpe."

"Which is more threatening? A big sword or a small sword? The small sword - it's a little rapier"

"My new cooking show, ""Will Sasso Cooks With His Exposed Dick Really Close to the Food"" premieres tonight (8/7 Central) in my mind. Be there!"

"There are five frogs staring at me right now but only one can be America's top model."

"Her: How would you describe that green sheep? Me: I don't know. Olive ewe? Her: I knew you'd say it first! I love you too! Entrapment 101"