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Joke of the Day

"What will they ask Jared of Subway in the prison shower? 'Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast."

"What did the redneck say when she lost her virginity? GET OFF ME DAD, you're crushing my cigarettes!"

"[if trump wins somehow] alien: ""i said take me to your leader"" me: ""dude i swear this is him"""

"Did you guys know that diarrhea is genetic? It runs in your jeans."

"My friend said he found a website that represents my sex life. I tried to look for it and an error came up saying, ""404-Not found"". Strange, I must have a bad connection."

"Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter"

"ME: *falls in love only w/ people who are mean to me* Why does this keep happening [flashback] GOD: *points to me* Make that one an idiot"

"TIL if Steve Irwin had worn sunscreen that fateful day, he would have survived. Apparently it protects against harmful rays."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly You can't jelly your cock in her ass"

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? 'ell if I know."