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Joke of the Day

"I went to an ATM... I was at an ATM this morning and this older lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over."

"Girl, you look like trash. Can I take you out?"

"If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter and another quarter and then another quarter how much would you have left? A million dollars minus 75 cents."

"If a rooster lays an egg on a triangular roof, which side does it roll down? Neither! Roosters don't lay eggs!"

"I'm on a new diet of just Viagra and prune juice... I never know if I'm comin' or goin'."

"What's brown, dirty, and sticky? A stick"

"Two crows are in jail. What are they in for? Attempted Murder"

"What if aliens are responsible for global warming? And this is just their way of breaking the ice."

"We have a strange custom in our office... The food has names there. Yesterday for example I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was ""Michael""."

"Why was General Yoda afraid of April? Because March, April May."