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Joke of the Day

"A little girl walks into her parents' bedroom. ""Holy F**k"" she screams ""and you want ME to see a doctor about sucking my thumb?!"""

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr.Dre"

"A black man and an autistic man walk into a bar The autistic man orders a shot, but the black man gets it instead"

"Why are homeless people always laughing? Because they crack themselves up!"

"I don't always correct someone's spelling but when I do, I google it first so I don't make an ass of myself."

"""Sir u have a hernia"" ""Haha c'mon doc don't u mean a HISnea?"" ""No I meant hern-"" ""Im obviously a guy. How did u even get a medical license?"""

"In marijuana's defense, I'm lazy as shit completely sober too."

"I didn't flan on getting divorced and now my wife wants custardy and she's pudding our kids in the middle :("

"A low pressure faucet and a penis with erectile dysfunction have a lot in common.... Both can still drain their liquids but neithers getting anything off"

"What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple? He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy."