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Joke of the Day
"What's brown, dirty, and sticky? A stick"
Next Joke
"""It meant nothing to me, babe. I swear!"" When my girl catches me in the closet eating Devil's food cake with my bare hands."
"What's the difference between Reddit and the 1984 Universe? You can leave Reddit."
"The mantra to a successful relationship find someone who likes the same thermostat setting as you do."
"Why was the dyslexic atheist a cat person? He doesn't believe in dog."
"[1st day in Senate] Me: I'm against genetic engineering Scientist: We've developed kids w/ volume knobs Me: How much funding do you need"
"I didn't use to like fungus but then it grew on me"
"Pizza is a good argument against nihilism."
"I absolutely, unequivocally support any and all scientific efforts to create a real, working invisibility cloak. I just want to make myself crystal clear."
"Saw a homeless guy at McDonald's begging for money, told him I'd buy him something to eat. He said no thanks, getting money for Taco Bell."