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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a drummers car more aerodynamic? You remove the pizza delivery sign! Hahahahaaa..ha"

"My Girlfriend is writing a book about menstrual cycles. It's a period piece."

"What do you call a wizard with a good outlook on life? An Opti-Mystic."

"My ex was orphan as a child I should have taken that as the first sign. If her parents didn't want her, why would I."

"A man asks his wife what she wants for Valentine's Day. ""I want you to get something that will make me look sexy,"" she says. So he goes shopping and returns home with a case of beer."

"A woman was masturbating furiously on the subway The police were going to arrest her, but she got off."

"At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he's adopted?"

"TIL: Ropes can pass through themselves Ohh wait they can knot."

"Why don't you put eggs in a microwave? Because they eggsplode. :D"

"Algebra must have trouble letting go of past relationships... ...it always wants people to find it's x."