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Joke of the Day

"JOSH: Hey dad DAD: Oh my god is your name still Josh JOSH: Um yeah DAD: We're changing it JOSH: No please don- DAD: It's done ERIC: What the"

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"Abusing a word, done correctly I have eye opening experiences every day, quite literally."
"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? ""Where's my tractor?"" (as told by my Irish granddad)"
"What do Vegans, ISIS and Feminists have in common? None of them like pork."
"2 pedophiles on a bench in the park. A little girl with a lollypop walks by... p1: Oh, man, she used to be so hot back in the days!"
"Why did I wear no jeans today? my supply was short."
"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire, I noticed your cat. Sorry!"
"What does a mother use to keep her childrens' toenails soft and smooth? A pedi-file"
"Why did Mr. T reject Marxism? Because Marx said ""You have nothing to lose but your chains."" *^(Manifest der Kommunistischen Partei - 1848)*"
"Small mirror that attaches to head of a phone so you can peripherally experience real life while you're live tweeting it."