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Joke of the Day

"What do Vegans, ISIS and Feminists have in common? None of them like pork."

"I tried phone sex for the first time the other day... Didn't really like it though, the phone was too cold."

"My computer just said hello to me. I think it's A Dell."

"What's blue and doesn't fit? An epileptic at the bottom of a pool."

"Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder."

"How do you stop a fish from smelling? Cut its nose off."

"How do telegraph operators apologize? Remorse code"

"Damn girl, are you bubble wrap? Because you're fun to run over with my bike"

"Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours? Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box !"

"Your honor let the records indicate my client was upsexy Judge: what's upsexy? [lawyer whispers to defendant] quick, this is your chance"