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Joke of the Day
"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire, I noticed your cat. Sorry!"
Next Joke
"My grandfather died during sex. I still cry when I watch the video."
"What is the worst part about being a black jew? Having to sit in the back of the oven."
"How many Mexicans are needed to change a light bulb? Juan."
"Women like a man with confidence. Because without that, what's to destroy?"
"The Soviet Cycle of Procrastination First, you are Putin down your work. Then, you are Stalin for time. Finally, you are Russian to finish."
"How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe."
"Always ask your girlfriend if she is actually a transvestite before you start dating her. I learned it the hard way."
"Fifty Shades of Grey beat the record for fastest selling R-rated movie in history... Well, first it tied the record... then it beat it.... [credit goes to the Late Night with Seth Meyers writers]"
"What did the dyslexic bank robber say when he robbed the bank? ""Air in the hands motherstickers! This is a fuck up!"""