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Joke of the Day

"Some people say I have my mom's eyes... but since they can't find them they've never been able to prove it in a court of law."

"People think having crabs is a bad thing. Still, at least something's sucking my cock."

"Imagine if people referenced the Beach Boys more often! Wouldn't it be nice?"

"Never trust someone that wears colored contacts. They've already lied to you."

"What do you call a kid with no arms and legs and severe Down syndrome? Names"

"Another casualty of 2016... Ronda Rousey's MMA career"

"I havent had sex But i spilled water on a cat once Does that count as getting the pussy wet?"

"#rubbishjokes What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? The slowest swimmer."

"[ping pong] ME: 3 to 2, my serve JESUS: M: can I have the ba- J: the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve M: [exhales] every time"

"I wanted to get a brain transplant... But I changed my mind."