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Joke of the Day
"What kind of jokes does a priest tell? Dad jokes"
Next Joke
"Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus? Because he'd urn-ed it."
"Why are Twilight fans obsessed with it? Because they need a fandom that won't make them feel like trash."
"DJ Khaled is at a bar... *He has already had 10 shots* The bartender asks him if he's done or not... DJ Khaled says,""Nope I'll have Another One."""
"What's the best part about sex with a 5 year old? Watching them break down on the witness stand."
"They say we are created in Gods image. So does that mean he smells the toilet paper after wiping too?"
"I think if a trained monkey could drive a car, cook & give out money, my kids wouldn't notice it wasn't me. I need a monkey."
"What kind of ship never sinks? A dictatorship. *sobs*"
"Stop wearing shirts that make us want to look at your titties if you don't want us to look at your titties, because TITTIES!!"
"I am going to tell my friends... That I will show up to their holloween party as Amelia Earhart...then not show up."